Every time I read the story of king Saul (1 Samuel 9 and onwards), I can’t help but wonder how a man of such distinct pedigree and handsome appearance could miss the mark.
Saul was the first king of Israel, and the entire nation desired him (1 Samuel 9:20) and yet all it took was a teenage boy, David to displace him from the throne.
It’s not that David fought for it, or murdered Saul (even though he had plenty of opportunities to do so) and yet, all his life as a king, Saul chased him in vain, fearing he would lose his kingdom.
The “Why” Factor
Yet before he was even anointed king, Saul’s first response to Samuel, the prophet, was that of doubt and unbelief.
We can sense a deep-rooted issue of insecurity in one’s own identity, which even the most enviable pedigree can’t undo. Saul was the son of a mighty man and taller than all the other Israelites, and yet, had a sense of unworthiness that can be well read in his response-
“Am I not a Benjamite, of the smallest of the tribes of Israel, and my family the least of all the families of Benjamin? Why then do you speak like this to me?” (1 Samuel 19:21)
“Why me,” is a question that haunts many, even more, the ones who place all the “cause and effect” of the world to be centered around their existence.
Why does the sun move around me? Why nothing good ever happens to me? Why am I so ugly/dumb/lazy, and unsuccessful…Why me?
From “Why Me” to “Who Am I”
Truth be told, none of us humans deserve any of the good that happens to us. All, yes that includes me, have sinned and fallen short of the glory of God. (Romans 3:23)
There is none good, no, not one. (Psalms 14:1-3)
To think that the good that happened to us is because of some good that we did is fooling ourselves to believe that we are the debtors and lenders of righteousness and unrighteousness.
No, I am not here to debate “Karma”. But the truth is, many times we undergo situations that seem completely unfair. And yes, in those moments our reaction like Saul is bound to be, “Why Me?”
But the thing is even more times do we experience the goodness of God and never in those instances do we ever cry out “Who am I?”
Who am I to be succeeding at my workplace with no prior experience?
Who am I, Father, to stand before people of authority and be able to speak?
Who am I to be chosen and set apart for Your good works?
Who am I to be so loved that You sent Your Son to die for me?
For every mess in your life, there is a miracle in waiting. The question is would you move from your doubt and insecurities and shift your lens to focus on the Blessor?
Would you rather ask “Who am I” than dwell on the depressing, self-absorbing “Why me?”
Worthy is the Lamb that was Slain!
The immediate successor to Saul, the teenager named David, had his heart in the right place. The book of Psalms declares his love for God which doesn’t wane away even on the most troublesome days.
Saul chased David for several years and yet all through the wilderness experience, David worshipped the Lord, offering himself as a living sacrifice.
But what’s even more interesting is that David acknowledges the even greater love of God that pursues him even in the darkest valleys. (Psalms 23)
For those who love God, the bigger truth is He loves you first, much more than you could ever imagine.
There’s no place you could hide from His love. (Psalm 139:7-10)
For God is love (1 John 4:16) and His goodness endures forever (Psalms 100:5)
So the next time you feel tempted to denounce the blessings of God, claiming yourself to be unworthy, remember the source of the blessing.
All good and perfect gifts come from above, from our Father in heaven (James 1:17) and none of those are earned by our merit or self-righteousness, but through the righteousness that we have in Christ Jesus, our Lord. (Romans 3:22)
Because worthy is the Lamb who was slain. He alone is worthy. (Revelations 5:12)
