Stinging Be-s, Burning Minds, and the“AM-s” of Christ

The Be of the Present- Should be

Perhaps the easiest one to fix, ‘should be’ regrets, are manageable, more so because none of us really know for sure how things should be! Sure enough, we can somewhat predict the consequences of certain actions (universal truths). Yet, with our limited human understanding, we can never know for certain how a particular thing ought to be at the moment.

Often, our ‘should be-s’ are dictated by those close to us- our family, acquaintances, and community at large. For example, you should be employed by this age____, should be married by this____, should have this much savings____, should be at this place ____by this time.

Since all our ‘should be-s’ are at their best a sum total of the most accurate guess, failing to miss the mark with a ‘should be’ might not result in long-term regrets.

But when the ‘should be’ gets combined with the ‘could be’, the resulting regrets take deeper seats.

The Be of the Future- Could be

It’s a good thing to have a vision that drives us to move on, but it’s another to be lost in distant possibilities, oblivious to the more pressing needs at hand. When a particular “should be” doesn’t work out in our favor, we are susceptible to achieving a new ‘could be,’ at the cost of evading the current reality at hand.

Broken marriages are perhaps one of the saddest consequences of this dangerous mix. Our marriage should have been this way, but it didn’t. So it could be that there is another person, a perfect fit with whom I could have a more fulfilling relationship. The result? A painful separation whose echoes will reverberate through all future generations.

The Be of Multiverse- Would be

This is indeed the most lethal of all be-s. Just like the hypothetical space (multiverse) in Marvel, the ‘would-be’ candidates desire and even attempt to be what they are not. Removed way beyond reality, they aim to achieve another identity, pretending to be what they are not.

The result? A lack of appreciation for what one has and a spirit of bitterness that overshadows any joy that comes their way.

Overcoming Your “Be-s” with His “I AM”

Rise above your regrets- is easier said than done. I am nowhere implying that we are free from the repercussions of our actions and that we shouldn’t live more responsibly. We can’t evade the consequences, but we can choose not to dwell there. Dead memories, especially of a regretful past, can lead us nowhere. And now is the time to set yourself free from the three be-s.

But before that, we need to recognize the roots of the three be-s

• Should be- perceived expectations
• Could be- perceived strengths
• Would be- perceived identity

Interestingly, all our “be-s”- whether present or future- stem from our perception of how things ought to be or can be. And the key to breaking free is grafting our be-s in the “Am-s” of Christ.

Moses, Moses, Take off Your Sandals

After about four centuries of slavery in Egypt, God visited Moses in a burning bush[1] to tell him how He would be redeeming His people and leading them to the promised land. When asked for a name by Moses, God introduces Himself as the great “I Am Who I Am.” He is what He is- nothing more nor less. He isn’t a should be, could be, or would be God.  He is “I AM.”

Knowing who He is, is key to grafting our be-s in Christ. But before we can get close, we need to let go of our sandals[2] (perceptions). The lost world has nothing to offer to the sons of God, and unless we establish our true identity in Christ, we will only be swayed and tossed by the doubts and regrets of life.

So, the next time you are tempted to think about any of the be-s, meditate on the “I AMs” of Christ:

These are just four of the countless promises that Jesus has made to His people, and the best part is there is no labor involved in achieving any of these! it is all done and accomplished once and for all, and our part is to receive by faith, through grace[3]!