Have you ever looked upon someone, heard their stories, and wished, “O my, why didn’t it happen to me?” or “Why am I so miserable?”
I often wondered why God never made all men the same- everything about us is so unique, so individual that no matter how similar our lives might seem on the surface, there will always be a difference.
My life will never be yours and vice versa.
This is where I have a slight difference in opinion with the writer of Ecclesiastes. He says everything under the Sun is the same. Well, yes and no.
And that’s one thing we learned in digital marketing. “Trends” change. Maybe the user of the product is the same, but unless you give them an upgraded, updated version, chances are your product will end up in the dumps.
Decoding the root of all insecurity
So, coming back to human beings. If we are so different, what causes us to compare and agonize over the differences? Why does another human’s blessing seem to be our death knell?
I reflected for quite some time and came to this four-lettered word: “envy”.
Do you know what’s even more interesting? Envy comes from the Latin word invidere, which means to “look upon”.
How do I stop “looking upon” others?
Practically speaking, that would be impossible. As visual creatures who believe what they see, it is impossible for us to restrain our senses, unless (with all due respect) we choose to live in a remote location with no human contact.
But chances are, even then you would be miserable cause we humans are blessed with “memories” that will not go away.
Believe it or not, 90% of the times that I feel insecure and unloved are triggered by instances that mirror my memories.
You know that feeling of déjà vu, of having experienced something before. Well, it might as well be you experiencing the same situation all over again!
Can I walk away from feelings of insecurity?
I wish that could help, but emotions repressed are bound to come out at the most inopportune moments and may even manifest into greater problems[S1] .
There needs to be an outlet for the emotional “tornado” and that’s where your uniqueness can save the day!
I know how to write a word to two (just being modest) so I write it out and process the reason behind my feeling a particular way. You can do the same in your own unique way and, if comfortable, share them and let the world know that they are not alone.
Talking to friends and family can also prove effective in getting rid of those mental cobwebs. But the only glitch in this approach is it makes you dependent on another person to process your emotions.
Instead, spend time on your own, reflecting and processing your emotions. And then when you are comfortable, talk about them with people you trust.
Live a life of gratefulness, one day at a time!
If you have an awesome memory that dates to Genesis (like me), and if you are great at building towers of resentments and keeping count (just like me), good news for you!
You are already a great mental architect, it’s just that you need to change your raw materials.
Switch resentment with gratitude, misery for joy, and bitterness for love. I know that is easier said than done, but being grateful for even the tiniest miracle in your life would be a great place to start.
What am I grateful for today?
Well, for one, I am breathing, all my body parts are fully functional, my hands are typing at the speed of light (just kidding) and I have a website to post my reflections on.
You can do the same. Just keep a log of all that you are grateful for and every time your insecurity pays a visit, point it to the written log of gratefulness. Cause we see what we believe, right?
You are blessed beyond measure, my friend, it is just that you need a new lens.
Get that lens of gratefulness, today!
